gloria 游离在半梦半醒之间

回上海的第3个月，该怎么形容现在的心情。纠结，无奈，矛盾，下不了决心。有时候觉得自己真的快精神分裂了，在众人面前微笑，在夜深的时候一个人发呆。然后觉得自己是个很失败的人，也许，假如，如果我狠心点也许自己就不会难过了吧。

一直说，心有多大，幸福就有多简单。可是，当自己遇到问题的时候，就很难去诠释这个定义。
如果画上句号需要100%的勇气，那么重新提起笔则需要200%的勇气了吧。对我而言，我也希望我落笔的时候，能画出一条平整的完美的直线，可是过程中的我们，却始终断断续续。并且，在我认为这是问题的时候，却得不到任何回应，所以，真的不懂。

在乎，不在乎，在我看来，他自己都分不清楚。于是乎，满脸的无所谓。
好吧，沉淀。

I ve been living with a shadow overhead
I ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can t seem to move on
 
I ve been hiding all my hopes  dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
 
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can t make it through without a way back into love
 
I ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I ve been searching but I just don t see the signs
I know that it s out there
There s gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I ve been looking for someone to shed some Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
 I m open to your suggestions
 
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can t make it through without a way back into love
 if I open my heart again
I guess I m hoping you ll be there for me in the end
 
There are moments when I don t know if it s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
 
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can t make it through without a way back into love
 if I open my heart to you
I m hoping you ll show me what to do
 if you help me to start again
You know that I ll be there for you
in the end